Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
Randomize
