just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Going to a party tonight. Sorority girls will be there. Primary goal of the night: make one cry. Secondary goal: become a father.
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Randomize
