I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
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