So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
The only way I'll cross anything off my to do list today is if I write 'eat melted cheese' on it
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
