I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
Randomize
