Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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