whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
It's rum buckets o'clock
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
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