She said her name was "party"
The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
Lots of explosions. Minor nudity. Full penetration and lots of tuxedos.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
