I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize
