MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
My walk of shame was far more interesting today. He's moving and was cleaning out his apartment, so not only was I carrying my clothes, I also walked away with 4 bottles of cheap wine and a jar of ragu.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Next time I try to break into the police station drunk, please stop me.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
