he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
I just put a condom on my dildo so i wouldng get another uti....most depresIng moment of.my LIFE
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
