I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
We just took the batteries out of the fire alarm to play the breathalyzer game. I love college.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
i just walked downstairs to find my brother wearing a crossingguards vest and boxers. when i asked him where he got it he just looked at me, smiled, and kept feeding the dog yogurt
Why is your signature on my underwear?
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
