I feel as if I owe my bloodstream some tequila.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
