i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I guess you could say the date didn’t go so well since I was drunkenly Snapchatting with my ex by the end of it.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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