similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
