i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
New pre-game routine....wal-mart bathrooms...quality beers for free...hallelujah
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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