I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
