They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she pinky promised me she was 18
I'm drinkin whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
The only pictures I have are of me being stoned or me looking like a man, which do you prefer?
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
