If that was your dad, he is hot
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
Sacagawea was the original milf.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
i woke up with fake boobs glued on my chest and a large black dildo on my hand. then i had to dress myself and walk home. people saw.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
