ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
Randomize
