So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
For a second I thought that you were becoming a decent person again. I am glad I was wrong.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
The adults are the big ones right?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
