just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
Randomize
