I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
