I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Randomize
