He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
Randomize
