The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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