I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
If it makes you feel any better, I had my finger up some guy's butt today... Dominatrix training, ya know...
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
