Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
Is it penis luge time yet?
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
Well the term Party is used loosely in this situation. Since it will just be mom wine drunk and us eating chips with multiple dips.
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
