why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
worst night to have a conscience
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
Seriously. My exes act like they own shares of my vagina.
Well, in their defense, they have invested a lot of time and money
She passed out in his mom's bed and when we went to go get her she went 'no its cool I live here'.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Randomize
