It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
