Yeah, where have you been?
Clearly not facebooking enough. Sweet jesus.
it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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