What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
i think we sleep fucked last night...
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Randomize
