wanna go halves on a baby?
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
You have talents. You got me laid two weekends in a row in two different cities.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
The Olympian is in my bed
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
He agreed to matching Christmas pajamas today, no guy does that for a girl he’s not seriously considering marrying.
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