u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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