I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Worse: texted mom-in-law by mistake that I sharted.
Worser: she offered to clean me up
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
