Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
This girl I interned with got engaged today and I'm just like over here taking plan B with my tacos and PBR.
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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