wtf someone played my fucking brickbreaker games and lost i had ten fucking lives. ughhh
maybe you did when you were drunk
no way, i wasn't THAT drunk.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
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