That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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