Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
hey what are you doing
hooking up with some marlborough girl. shes gorgeous!
i texted you because i like you, and i told my freinds you were my fiance. but sine we're not dating you're not cheating and i'm pathetic
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
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