I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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