Reasons why i shouldn't be drunk and upset: i'm going to a boy's
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Randomize
