would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
I fell asleep with my vibrator still in me. I am the Queen of Sad Masturbation.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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