I just saw the girl you left with - Chris Hansen's looking for you
Dude, you really need to stop hitting on girls by telling them you sang a cappella in college.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
Randomize
