Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
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