My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
I'm fucking blazing boy. 5hr weed sauce kicked in and my entire face feels like an 8ball of gold bond flying down a mountain of Fresh powder. Just gliding.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
