can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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