That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
He felt like a one man threesome
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The fact that its 530pm and I'm saying to myself I should sober up since I'm at a family establishment should say enough
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
He ate me out on the front lawn of the post office. The people in the office across the road definitely got a show!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
