What tipped you off? The sombrero?
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
I just feel like I should give it a rest. I'm too old to be drinking bottles of grey goose and falling into koi ponds.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
Randomize
