With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
YOU GAVE HIM A BLOWJOB ON YOUR DOORSTEP?!
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
I am talking to a naked lesbian about robots. I think this means I win life.
Randomize
