Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I just woke and had to fish my phone out of a bowl of chili. I was wrist deep in it. WHO BROUGHT CHILI TO A PARTY?!
its not chili. and you brought it.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
