We did like every position then did it again this morning. Something about him being the little boy i used to make sand castles with just made it way hotter.
well done
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Randomize
