I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Randomize
