Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
He stumbled out of their hotel room and yelled, "I'M ON A STATEWIDE TOUR. I'VE BEEN IN KENTUCKY AND OKLAHOMA."
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
Randomize
