there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
perfect irony that i'm celebrating international women's day with a yeast infection
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
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